Plan YA

There is a glitch in the document control system where I work. When you make changes to controlled documents or parts, you create a new revision using the letters of the alphabet (e.g., A, B, C...). Of course there are certain letters that aren't used, due to the similarity and ability to confuse them with numbers. When you get to revision Y, which is the final allowable letter, you have to move to revision YA. It should be revision AA, but the glitch in the system won't let you get rid of that pesky Y, and errors out if you try to move on without it.

Well, I feel like our family plan has moved to Plan YA.

I met with a new RE on Monday, and while I can't say that I feel validated against my last RE yet, I can say that we will probably be moving forward with him for a bit.

The biggest pro is that my husband likes him. He felt like Dr H was flexible with his treatment plans and options, but more importantly, he didn't feel like Dr H had a big huge ego like Dr D. He asked a lot of questions, and I felt like they were all the right questions. A lot of them were things Dr D had either ignored or never asked. Like when I told Dr D pre-op that I had been bleeding for two weeks, he didn't really seem to care the way I thought he should have, especially considering we had not done a medicated cycle in months.

Dr H did agree that losing all images from a surgery is odd, but that was the extent of what he would comment on regarding my time with Dr D. I did not expect him to say anything against Dr D. In fact, he acted exactly how I thought he would in regard to the whole situation of us seeking a second opinion and wanting to change doctors. These guys do not want to get tied up in potential legal battles against their peers, and I don't blame them. So I know they tread lightly when saying another doctor was wrong. He did, however, say that he would do a hysteroscopy to check out the inside of the uterus and the rupture repair site. The beautiful thing there is I get to be awake and see everything. That means there will be no sketchy loss of images.

The thing we liked about Dr H is that he told us we could do our cycles our way. Dr D had always made it very clear it was his way or the highway, especially when it came to injectibles and IUIs. Dr D would NOT do IUI without injectibles, and I was very adamant that I would not do injectibles. We were always at a standstill on that front. However, Dr H said he would do IUI on a natural cycle, on a letrozole/femara or chlomid cycle, or with very low dose injectibles if necessary.Unlike Dr D, he felt it was still advantageous doing IUI on a natural cycle.

At the end of the consultation, he asked us how we would like to proceed. We told him that we would like to have him monitor a natural cycle next month (if we're not pregnant [I'm currently 3dpo]) so that we could get a baseline cycle to determine what, if anything, needs to be tweaked. During that cycle, we also want to do the hysteroscopy. I want to see this repair site with my own eyes. The thought of that combined with being able to have a discussion on what Dr H sees as he sees it is a big deal to me.

Depending on how the next cycle goes and how we feel, we may do a couple of medicated cycles with this doctor.

I know! I know! But know that I am not committing to anything yet. I'm not saying yes, and I'm not saying no. I'm saying let's see what this guy thinks and go from there. We still have a consult with another RE next Wednesday.

As we were driving away from the appointment, I told him I wasn't sure if I was willing to cycle with this new RE because he is the new shiny toy that I must have, or if it is because this is really what we need to be doing. It didn't take me long to answer my own question: it is the latter. The reason I feel that is because I scheduled these appointments well before I went on my business trip and had that heart wrenching realization that I wasn't allowed to give up yet.

There is one major difference between the way I feel right now, and the way I felt a year ago, and that is that my world does not revolve around getting pregnant anymore. In a way, I'm still just going through the motions to say I did. But at the same time, I know that I need to keep going because something deep inside me told me I had to. Maybe it was that part of me that lives life with no regrets. Or maybe it is because there really is another baby in my future. Either way, my heart told me not to quit just yet. Technically, so did Baby Bean.

So here we are, Plan YA, Rev YA. Let's see where this plan takes us. We're on a new ride, but at least it isn't a giant roller coaster anymore.