A Tiny Heartbeat

On Tuesday I had my first official prenatal visit. The one where they ask all the questions, tell me the do's and don'ts of pregnancy, take a ton of blood (4 vials), and perform a sonogram. Let's just say I was giddy to be there that day. I almost cried from sheer happiness when they handed me the bill for my prenatal care and delivery (my doctor's office charges for everything up front). I didn't care what number was on that bill, the fact that it was in my hands was beautiful. It was almost surreal. I almost felt like I was playing a joke on everyone. But I'm not, I really am pregnant!

After three years of  countless doctor visits, taking more prescription meds than an octagenarian, more sonograms than Michelle Du.ggar has had in her life, four surgeries, and tens of thousands of dollars, WE ARE FINALLY PREGNANT! I still can't believe it.

Do you want to see my baby? Here is a picture of my beautiful little bub.

I got to see and hear the beautiful little heartbeat that instantly put my fears to rest and made me cry with pure joy. I could have sat there all day and watched my baby and heard that heartbeat. We have gone through so much to get here and I am so incredibly grateful it has finally happened. The blessing of this miracle is not lost me, just as the miracle of Little Bean has never, ever been lost on me. I cannot wait to add this little one to our family.

This week my pregnancy symptoms have finally started to show, which is funny since I am already 8 weeks along. I have been so exhausted I can barely hold myself upright, let alone put one foot in front of the other when I have to go to the loo every 10 minutes to pee. This level of exhaustion should be illegal. So of course I love it... as much as a person this tired can.

I have had a few small bouts of morning sickness, and enjoyed every second of it because it means my baby is growing and doing great. I just take a Pre.ggie P.op and go on with my day, while beaming inside.

My favorite new symptom, food aversions! I know, I'm so weird. But when I can't stand foods I normally love, it makes me so happy. This morning Hubs, Little Bean, and I went to breakfast at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. I got eggs, bacon, and potatoes and could not only not handle the smell, I couldn't eat even half of the eggs and almost barfed when I tried to eat the bacon. I LOVED it! I had Wend.ys for lunch yesterday and couldn't eat even half of it because it was so gross. The most amazing food aversion though: french fries! I cannot believe I can't stand french fries because they are one of my most favorite foods ever, but I just can't handle them right now. The thought of them makes me cringe. Every day this week I have been eating foods I normally love only to find I can't stand them right now, and it makes me SO HAPPY!

My least favorite pregnancy symptom and the only one that doesn't make me happy: mood swings. No only do they suck for obvious reasons, but they come packed with a TON of guilt. The worst is the mom guilt. Little Bean is so sweet and happy, but when I am exhausted like I am, it takes a lot of patience to answer her questions when she asks the same one over and over and over. Patience I don't have. I feel horrible about it. And I'm one of those parents who likes to buy people things to make up for bad behavior, so Little Bean is being spoiled by a cranky mama a lot the last couple weeks. Honestly, I would love to just cuddle with her in my lap while we watch cartoons all day. Tomorrow we are going to take her to the fair, and I'm pretty excited about that.

Its funny to be so happy and so cranky at the same time. I am just really excited to add this new little bub to our family and travel the globe as a happy family of four.