Sunday, October 6, 2013

I Wanted to be a Teacher

Sometimes I wonder why I am so open about what goes on in my life. As I was thinking about it tonight, I realized its because I have always wanted to be a teacher. When I first went to college, my major was going to be secondary education. I wanted to be a high school English teacher. That dream was squashed when I transferred from a junior college to a university, and the university basically told me I was going to start my education over again and would be there for 5 more years.

Even though I didn't end up being an English teacher, I ended up in a profession where I essentially teach. I even create trainings on a regular basis because it is what I like doing, and I'm good at it.

To go from teaching and writing to educating the world about the other side isn't that much of a stretch. Sometimes I think about not writing about what is going on in my life, but at the end of the day, I like to provide prospective and education to others who have no idea what it is like to experience infertility, post partum anxiety, and now a baby with plagiocephaly.

Last Wednesday, Sweet Pea got her new helmet. Over the last few days, we have slowly been breaking her into wearing it 23 hours a day. The first day she wore it for an hour, and then was free from it for an hour all day. The second day was two hours on, one hour off. The third was four hours on, one hour off and napping in it. Today was 8 hours on, napping, and finally going to bed with it on. Tomorrow starts our first 23 hour day.

I have gone back and forth on how I feel about this helmet. I know Sweet Pea needs it because her head is so stinking flat. It looks like someone shaved off the back, right side of her head. Whenever I see it, I am all for this helmet. But then when I can't snuggle my cheek up against her head as I carry her around, I hate it. When I can't easily bestow her with my million kisses every day, I hate it. I know when it starts to stink and the rubbing alcohol won't get the smell out, I will hate it.

I won't lie, I can't wait until we can be rid of this thing. I can't wait until her head is perfectly round and beautiful. I know it will be worth it. I just wish we were closer to the end of treatment than at the very beginning. This is the only time in Sweet Pea's life that I will hope she grows quickly. The faster she grows, the faster we are done with this.

Friday night Little Bean's school had a family cookout. It was Sweet Pea's first helmet debut. What better way to show it off than to a bunch of children? It was a great way to get our feet wet with the questions, comments, and stares we will encounter over the next couple months. Everyone reacted as I expected: children asked questions, everyone stared, and most adults seemed to be just a little bit nicer than normal. One old lady even came up to me and told me her son had had to wear a helmet when he was a baby too.

Saturday was our town debut. I took the girls to Tar.get to do some grocery shopping. It went just as I thought it would. Lots of stares and kids asking questions. I won't lie, I was a bit rattled. I hated everyone staring at us. I tried to ignore everyone and just get my shopping done so we could go home. When I was putting the cart away in the parking lot, a lady came up and asked, "Is that one of those helmets?" I told her it was. She asked if Sweet Pea had to wear it because she hit her head a lot. It is so hard to not be snarky. I told her Sweet Pea just had a flat spot and we were rounding out her head. Again, I totally wanted to be snarky and say, "because my husband and I are vain like that."

I hope that at some point all of this becomes normal to me. Yes I knew it was going to be like this, and I know it is all a matter of how I handle it, but its a bit unnerving. I don't like people staring at me or my baby. I guess I will just have to make sure I do my hair everyday. If I'm going to be noticed more, they might as well think I'm put together. They already notice how adorable Sweet Pea is. I do have to give props, my baby rocks that helmet! It is cuter than I thought it would be, and she makes that helmet look downright adorable. It pushes her chubby little cheeks out and shows off her sweet little eyes. The shock of hair popping out of the top is pretty cute too.

I was going to post pictures, but they are all on my phone and I'm too lazy to go get it and plug it in right now, so it will just have to wait.

Until next time!