Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I am Just Plain Excited

Last week I had my final appointment with my RE. I had to try hard not to cry just thinking about the appointment, while I was driving there, while I was sitting in the waiting room, and during my appointment. Yes, I'm hormonal and watching Say Yes to the Dress makes me cry right now, but the level of gratitude I feel toward Dr H for accomplishing in a few short months what our previous RE could not in over two year's time would make even a non-hormonal woman cry.

When he walked into the room he exclaimed, "Good job, you did it!" And I replied, "Good job, YOU did it!" I think all three of us were pretty amazing, and it took all three of us to beat our odds. I told Dr H the only thing that made me sad was that I wasn't going to need to see him again. When he told me he wanted to meet the baby after it was born, and then continue to see me to control my endo after the pregnancy, I told him it was a deal. Like there is any way I wouldn't bring my precious little bundle to meet the doctor who made it possible!

Honestly, I don't care about controlling my endo or PCOS after this baby is born. I don't care about scar tissue, or anything else that could go wrong with my reproductive organs. I've said it all along, one more, and I'm done. I am totally sticking to that. If we happen to get more on our own, sweet! We'll take more, gladly and lovingly. But if we don't, we're done with medicated cycles and flushing money down the toilet in the name of another baby.

Since finding out we're pregnant, I have been excited and over the moon for a few reasons, the first being: HOLY CRAP WE'RE FINALLY PREGNANT! (<-- I wish I could make that flash.)

I had a ticker on my old blog that counted how long we had been trying for #2. It didn't include the year we had to take off after Little Bean was born; it didn't include the 3 months we sought second and third opinions on repair surgery; and it didn't include the 3 months we had to wait post-surgery. It took us exactly 2 years to finally get pregnant. For 21 months out of 24, we were either cycling or taking a break from medicated cycles. (Let's not even get into how long it took us to get Little Bean and what we had to go through to get her.) So the thought that all of that is behind us once and for all, is nothing short of amazing for me. That alone makes me want to happy dance until the cows come home.

Another reason I'm excited is because I get to have another baby! Little Bean makes us laugh often, and we love her so much. It has been incredible watching her grow and learn over the last 3.5 years. I am so excited that I not only get to do it again, but that I get to do it again with Little Bean enjoying all of it with us.

I am so excited, I am looking forward to the newborn days, and toting a baby around on my hip for a year, bottles and sippy cups, diapers and burp rags, bouncers and swings. I cannot wait! I honestly think I am more excited this time than I was the first time, mostly because now I know what to expect when the baby is born. I know how our lives are about to change. I know what sleepless nights are like, and that its okay if my baby cries. I know how to swaddle (or rather what to buy for a good swaddle). I know what baby products I can and can't live without. I know what to buy, and what not to waste my money on.

Sure having a toddler and a newborn will be an experience I haven't had yet, but I am totally looking forward to it. Little Bean is going to be an amazing big sister, and I know this because she has a baby doll that she totes around right now. I plan on buying her "baby" everything my baby will have, like a changing table, play yard, and all of those little goodies. I already bought her a stroller travel system like the one I have.

I am really excited to have our family complete, to no longer feel like I have to keep putting my body through hell because I have this strong maternal desire to have another baby. I love that I finally feel deep inside like this baby will complete our family, and we will be all done. It is an amazing, fulfilling feeling. I am ready and totally excited.


Kahla said...

:o) <3

Leah said...

I can feel the excitement through your writing, and I am SO excited for you!!! I have no doubt that you will cherish every single moment with your new baby, and that Baby Bean will be an amazing big sister. So happy for your family!

Alex said...

What a wonderful post! I can feel the excitement ooze off the screen!!! Love it! So very happy for you!!!

Fran said...

So so excited for you too!! Much love, Fran

AL said...

:-) awesome news!I cannot imagine how amazing it feels to havfe all the treatments behind you. so freeing!